Prologue: Why We Hide, Why We Break, Why We Begin Again
From the THX Series Hub - Behind the Mask: The Invisible Labor of Neurodivergent Survival
I spent years learning how to survive rooms that weren't built for me.
It started early: a body that hurt without explanation. A mind that moved too fast for the rhythms around me. A heart that absorbed the emotions of others before they even spoke. I learned to adapt, to predict, to manage the unspoken discomfort of everyone else.
I masked. I regulated their fear so they wouldn't have to. I regulated their confusion so they could feel wise. I regulated their uncertainty so they could feel safe.
And it worked. Until it didn’t.
Masking isn't just an act. It's a system. A survival economy. A way of trading authenticity for acceptance—until the cost outweighs the reward.
Behind every "calm presence" I brought to the room, behind every "brilliant solution" offered at just the right moment, behind every silent choice not to speak the truth too soon—was exhaustion. Fear. Calculation.
What I was praised for was not what I was good at. It was what made others feel good around me.
And that is where the cost becomes unbearable.
This book is about that cost.
It’s about how excellence, when unmanaged by others' comfort, becomes exhaustion. It’s about how survival demands emotional labor most people never see. It’s about how rumination isn’t a flaw—it’s a risk management strategy. It’s about why so many of us retreat into solitude—not because we don’t want connection, but because we need recovery.
Most of all, it’s about what happens when we stop apologizing for how we are built—and start redesigning the systems around us instead of constantly redesigning ourselves.
Behind the Mask isn't just a story of survival. It's a call to rebuild.
Because surviving is not the endgame.
Flourishing is.
And it begins here.
Next - Chapter 1: The Hidden Labor of Masking
