The Softness I Used to Fear
From The Healing Series
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Letting tenderness return to a body that braced for too long
For a long time, I equated softness with danger.
If I softened, I might collapse.
If I let someone in, I might disappear.
If I cried, I might not stop.
So I stayed braced.
Guarded.
Sharp when needed, numb when not.
But the truth is, I wasn’t built to live in armor.
None of us were.
Softness Isn’t Weakness—It’s What We Had to Leave Behind
Softness got pushed aside because survival required speed, sharpness, and strength.
We became resilient out of necessity.
But we also became distant from ourselves.
Somewhere along the way, I confused hyper-independence with peace.
I confused tension with readiness.
I confused numbness with safety.
But healing began when I let softness back in.
What Softness Feels Like Now
Crying and not apologizing for it
Laughing without checking if it’s too loud
Lying on the couch in the middle of the day with nothing to prove
Letting a hug linger a little longer
Speaking gently, to myself and others
Saying “I’m tired” without guilt
Softness is not the absence of strength.
It’s the integration of it.
It’s strength that no longer needs to clench.
It’s truth that no longer hides behind performance.
THX Frameworks Behind the Return of Softness
This is the moment healing starts to feel like being human again.
12 Utilities:
Security: I feel safe enough to soften
Ease of Use: I move through life without resistance
Emotion Evoked: I experience a full spectrum of feeling
Access: I reach the parts of me that were shut down
Value: My softness is not a liability—it’s part of my wholeness
PERMAH:
Health & Wellbeing: My body rests, breathes, trusts again
Positive Emotion: I feel joy, tenderness, affection
Relationships: I connect without armor
Admiration Equation:
I admire those who are brave enough to be soft
I admire my ability to hold both grief and grace
I feel awe at how softness makes space for real love
A Blessing for This Stage:
May I stop fearing my tears.
May I stop bracing for impact when love shows up.
May I stop mistaking tension for preparedness.May I soften into my strength.
May I rest in my becoming.
May I let tenderness lead me home.
Reflection Prompts
Where in my life have I feared softness—and why?
What does my body feel like when it’s safe to let go?
What would it look like to lead with tenderness instead of tension?
What softness am I ready to reclaim?
NEXT - When My Own Presence Became Enough
No more performing. No more proving. Just being. And it’s enough.
