My Needs Are Not a Burden
From The Healing Series
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Healing the part of me that thought being loved meant being small
For most of my life, I believed that having needs made me inconvenient.
I learned to:
Anticipate others before they asked
Silence myself when I was in pain
Apologize for asking—even when I had nothing left
I believed that if I needed too much, I’d be abandoned.
If I expressed too much, I’d be labeled dramatic.
If I took up too much space, someone would take it away.
So I shrank.
I softened my voice.
I became what others needed—until I forgot what I needed at all.
But Then Something Shifted
Healing taught me this:
Needing is not a flaw.
It’s a fact of being human.
We all need:
Connection
Clarity
Care
Rest
Safety
Touch
Time
Reassurance
Encouragement
Stillness
Space
These aren’t “high maintenance.”
They’re maintenance.
They’re health.
And they don’t make me too much.
They make me real.
What It Looks Like to Say: “I Have Needs”
I speak up when I’m tired
I ask for clarity instead of guessing
I let people show up for me
I rest without guilt
I no longer apologize for needing comfort, time, or space
I let love meet me where I actually am
And the more I honor my needs, the more I attract people who honor them too.
THX Frameworks That Redefine Need as Worthy
This is the transformation from self-erasure to self-respect.
12 Utilities:
Access: My needs are allowed to take up space
Ease of Use: My needs don’t need a performance to be valid
Clarity: I can name what I need without shame
Security: I trust that healthy love can handle it
Value: I am not less lovable because I have needs—I am more whole
PERMAH:
Health & Wellbeing: Needs are not signs of weakness—they’re indicators of care
Positive Emotion: I feel relief when I stop hiding
Relationships: Real ones start where needs are named
Admiration Equation:
I admire the part of me that speaks up, even when it’s hard
I admire others who listen without fixing
I feel awe at how much lighter life becomes when I stop carrying it alone
A Blessing for This Stage
May I never again apologize for being human.
May I honor what I feel, what I need, and what I ask for.May I stop confusing silence with strength.
May I stop fearing that my truth is too loud.May I surround myself with people who don’t flinch when I say, “Can you hold this with me?”
And may I remember—every day—
that my needs are not a burden.
They are a bridge to the love I deserve.
Reflection Prompts
What need have I silenced the longest?
Where did I learn that needing something made me less worthy?
What happens when I speak up without apologizing?
What would it feel like to let my needs be met?
NEXT - The Space Between Who I Was and Who I’m Becoming
How I stood still for a year—and everything changed.
